Thursday, April 11, 2013

It's Still Not Ok To Eat All The Chocolate

In the shower this morning, I managed to get soap in not one, but two of my eyes. Total kid move, I thought. 
As I stood with my face in water, I pondered about all the kid moves I pull on a regular basis. 
 Like the other day when my manfriend and I stopped at Buc-ees on our way to travel the state of Texas. For those of you that aren't familiar with Buc-ees, the only way I can describe it is an obscenely huge Walmart gas station that people get nuts over. I'm talking road signs 100 miles out as to where the nearest Buc-ees is. Park your truck and take your son in his camo jumpsuit for a birthday shake, kind of place. 
Texans love Texas, but they also love Buc-ees. 
Naturally this was a great pit stop and place to shop around. Unfortunately we already ate gas station BBQ a few rest stops back so I wasn't hungry. That was until, I saw the fudge.
I past trinkets and t-shirts and all kinds of mini beaver things but none of them really tugged my heart strings like that beautiful sign above the bakery. 
"Oh my gosh they have fudge I want it!!!"
"No you don't, that's the devil talking," manfriend laughed.
Oh no, he didn't. NOBODY GETS BETWEEN A GIRL AND HER CHOCO-LATÉ. Sadly as he escorted me out, I couldn't think of any real reasons why I needed gas station Walmart beaver fudge.
Luckily I spotted a tubby kid and his mom waddling out, both with tons of snacks in their hands.
"Look that kid got so many treats he probably has fudge there too. What a nice mom," I declared. 
"What? What am I, your Mom?" 
 Dangit, he had me there. Why did I desperately want him to buy me fudge and why did I even want it in the first place?
 Flashback from circa 1995 *POW*.... It was all coming back to me...Walking past Mrs. Fields Cookies getting so ticked when mum denied my pleas to get a cookie treat doused in frosting.  Boy, when I get rich and older I’m going to get all the cookies I want, I plotted *hands clenched* with that sweet 6 year old rationale of mine.
Realistically, I could have bought a whole month’s salary worth of chocolate fudge from Buc-ees if I was feeling reckless, but did I really want that? The old cliché started to ring a little more clearly- just because you can do it, doesn’t mean you should.  
I looked back at Mom and kid, still making their way through the Bucc-ees parking lot. Boy, was I glad to have parents that instilled positive eating habits (or tried to). No parent wants their child to struggle with weight and body issues, or have them grow up to be a break room cookie monster (def- a sad breed of closet hoarders; rarely spotted, these creatures enter the break room when free snacks are on the counter and leave no cookie left behind. If you do spot one in action, it's incredibly awkward so probably don't mention you saw them eat the entire office's chocolate rations) 
I knew investing in Buc-ees fudge was not the best move, but sometimes it’s fun to tempt the idea of doing rash things just because you can.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy chocolate on a pretty daily basis. A chocolate kiss here…breakroom office cookie there…all in moderation of course. I realize the marginal utility of eating all the chocolate isn't as sweet or victorious as it seemed when it was so out of reach. I also realize that using an economics principle like "marginal utility" therefore makes all the kid things I do borderline okay.  
As this guy Albert Einstein once said, “The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.” 
That's great Albert, thank you for that. 
So next time you catch yourself in kid moments, remember that it's beautiful to be a child of life, but it's still not ok to eat all the chocolate. 

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